February 14, 1998

322. Past Reflections #22 - More Than She'll Ever Know (1988)

     These words of experience are a reminder of life.  The overwhelming reading and writing of the incessant school is completed, and my nightmare is shadowed over into a dream.
     I know little of who she is, or what she dreams about.  She stands right next to me, yet will she ever know how I feel?  Just yesterday, our eyes met inconspicuously.  My attention immediately turned to her, as she smiled.  It was a friendly smile, but deep inside, I feel it carried a little more.
     She’s so beautiful, but can I ever tell her?  She’s so close to me, yet she’s so far away.  Perhaps someday she will read these words, but perhaps not.  If only she knew.  If only I could pass this fright and tell her how I feel.  Maybe someday, these words will tell her what I’ve been trying to say for what seems like an eternity.
     These are so many words to say, but how can I put these feelings into words?  Every time she passes by me, I gaze at her, until my eyes can no longer bare the sight of these empty arms.
     She’s so joyful and happy whenever I see her.  I guess this makes me happy, too, so I think how she could turn my life around.  My mind is hardly ever set on anything but her, and her smile makes me need her love more than she’ll ever know.
     Maybe she’ll know someday, but that’s a lot of somedays.  I say to myself that I will tell her, but I never do.  When our eyes meet again, I will not turn away.  When the time is right, she’ll know, but until then, I’ll keep my feelings inside.

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