August 3, 1992

212. While You Were Away: Life Is What You Make Of It

Regardless, my love, of what has transpired,
I still love you with all of my heart,
Even more than I did the day you left.
Now that you are home,
I don’t want you to be with me
Because it is all you have here.
I want to be loved by you,
But only because your heart desires
The love and precious life I can give
To you, the one girl I love so much.
I missed you while you were away,
And so many things have happened,
Yet, there is one thing you must know,
I want to spend these days with you,
Sharing all of this life, these words,
And most of all, this love in my heart.
And now my dear, tell me you want the same,
If that is truly what you feel in your heart.
If you feel differently, I will understand,
Just do not tell me my tears hurt you,
For if you leave, my tears will be forever.
Why don’t we share our beautiful love
Instead of wondering now that we are one again,
For what I want in life is your happiness,
And I will forever believe
That your happiness lies with me,
Yet life’s dream is your choice.......

211. While You Were Away: How Could You Not Want To Come Back To Me?

The most profound words
I could not write to you,
For I have missed you for so long.
What do you wonder, my love?
Do you think now,
Our love will not fair well?
Are you truly happy to see me,
Or just doing your best
Just to deal with what you have,
Settling not for what you want,
But what you will take as second-best?
I’ve wanted you here;
The nights were never joyous,
Though jest and play were there,
For you were gone from my side.
How could you not want to come back to me?
What hurts more, I wonder,
The tears I cry now,
Or the tears that fell while you were away?
What would you rather,
Stay here with me, or run away again?
Decide what you may,
For I will always love you,
But in what way do you love me more,
Missing me in your joyous time away,
Or loving me now that you are home?.......

210. While You Were Away: Wonder In Your Eyes

So many days I’ve longed for you here,
Waiting and hoping that one day soon,
You’d be back in my arms.
Dreary days and quiet evenings,
Reeling from the temptations
And drowning in my sorrows
In this brilliant visage of a smile,
No truer than its phony heir.
And now that I have you here,
In my arms where I’ve longed
For you to be since you went away,
You seem to doubt what is real,
And maybe even how you feel.
Why does it seem so different now?
Why does it seem like even though
You are happy to see me again,
You wish you were elsewhere,
Where I could never be?.......

August 2, 1992

209. While You Were Away: Waking In Your Arms

I can always recall the nightmares,
The horrid, treacherous, painful visions,
Even though I usually forget
The warm, uplifting pictures of dreams.
I’ve seen such horrid things in sleep
That would make mighty empires fall
And the mightiest of warrior run from his fight.
The evening quietude under which I sleep
Has always been a frightening, different world.
Though such horrid dreams
Will forever be within my soul,
I can sometimes remember the beautiful as well.
I can see sunsets at sea,
Snowcapped mountains reaching into the sky.
I’ve seen the wonder of young love that lives life-long
And watched a baby see his mother for the first,
But nothing in all this world,
Whether it be reality or a dream,
Has been more beautiful to me
That the one time I awoke
From the shadowy, dreadful world of my sleep
To find with my newly-opened eyes
That you were lying by my side,
Your arms locking me in your embrace.
Your smile showed me then
Just how in love you are with me.......