February 26, 1992

176. What Is Love?

through drunken memories of
       cold, forgetful nights under
                          neon lights,
i never knew love and life to be little more
       than a midnight cocktail--
it went down rough and hard
                on a scratchy throat
                past shadowy thoughts
          late on a lonely evening,
          room 2840 of a high-rise hotel--
and worst of all, love was gone with the alcohol
                                  when the morning came.
what a heartless world for a romantic
                                  who wanted only to know
                                  just what love really was.
it seemed so distant,
                that “love” thing.
i was a blind man on a sinking ship--
       hundred people around me,
       but no one cared enough to take my hand
                                  and show me
                                  to a lifeboat.
i always took the bottle of french wine
       and said, “why not?  you only live once.
          no one will ever really love me!
          what the hell is love anyway?
          what’s it all for?”

Now, sitting here with you,
       look, my dear, into my eyes and tell me.......
          tell me of the happiness you see through them
                                  into my heart.
I’ve learned love is always more
          than a midnight dream,
          but a reality.
I was always a dreamer,
       never wanted reality,
                until you came along.
Love is when you thank me
       even though you know you don’t have to.
Love is wanting only one thing in life--
       to make you happy at all the costs.
When you look at me with those eyes
       after I hand you a rose,
       after I give you another part of my blue world,
       the love shows deep in your smile.
Love is being my best friend,
       holding me when I cry,
       like I do whenever we dance together,
       and telling me it’s all right.
It’s the way the sun reflects off your velvet face,
       and it’s the portrait of you in my mind
       as I tell her I can’t because you’re my baby,
       the only one in all my life.
It’s knowing deep in my heart
       no one will ever take your place.
Love is putting you before me
       no matter what pain it causes,
And love’s also in the way you’ve changed
       how I look at life.
Life is no longer a quick game where no one cares,
       a meaningless wasteland of nothing,
Because now I know what it’s all for--
It’s all for the shimmer in your eyes
When you say, “I love you.”

175. When Your Hair Oscillates In The Wind

For as long as my eyes can see the sunset,
And these words kiss your lips,
I will remember the way the soft springtime breeze
Blew through your hair and kicked it all around.
The sunlight was reflecting off the ocean
And into those deep brown eyes.
I looked into their sea of wonder
And gazed upon the beauty I will always love.
The touch of your hand - soft, gentle caress,
Made me forget the world and think of only you.
To hold you so closely, so dear to my heart.
God himself will never know how warm it felt.
My arms are wrapped around you so tightly
As if the wind was going to carry you off
                     if I didn’t hold on.
And as we stood there, you held me the same way.
The sun will always shine, my dear, as long as you know
To hold on tight because the happiness
       I have planned to give you
              Will sweep you away just like the wind.......
                     The wind blowing through your hair.

174. There Will Always Be One More Rose

This morning I woke early
And watched the sun break the horizon.
The sky came ablaze with life
And the wind softly caressed my face.
As I stood there, I thought--
Thought of what it would be like
       If maybe I didn’t make it big.......
The cold wind stabbing my homeless face,
Tattered clothes on my body
                     fluttering in the breeze.
What if I’ve seen it all
                     and never was a success--
Unshaven face under dirty clothes?
But there’s a smile on this hungry face
Because I just found a five-dollar bill
And I’m taking it to the flower shop
                     to buy you a rose.

February 24, 1992

173. When I Give You Roses

Dear Beautiful Girl,
Whose eyes make my heart race
And smile makes my eyes tearful,
I search day and night
To find the words to ask you
To try to understand the way I am,
My heart, my ways, the things that I do,
For what you see with those gorgeous eyes,
       what you touch with gentle hand,
       could always be deep and profound,
              but it’s just me.......
And what made me love you more
Was that I never had to ask you
                     to understand me,
                     you just did.......

February 12, 1992

172. Wrap Your Arms Around Me And Never Let Go

When I knew I wouldn’t see you again
For quite a long while,
I asked you to wrap your arms around me
So I could feel you so close to me one more time.
The memory of how it felt is what keeps me going
Each day while you are away.
Lying here alone, darkness all around me,
Cold air making me shiver,
When I close my eyes and listen to the rain.
I can feel your arms around me.......
The warmth of your touch is on my face,
The smell of your perfume fills the room,
The sound of your voice whispers, “I love you,”
In almost a haunting tone.
Although you are so far away,
I can still feel your embrace,
Your love wrapped around me,
And that’s all that keeps my heart beating
And my spirit wanting to push on
Until you come back to me.
                   How I miss you.

171. Loving You Each Day

“Through all that I do each day,
Whether it be a sunny day in June,
Or a cold, rainy day in May,
There is only one thing I do with
More pride, respect, admiration,
And happiness than anything else,
And that is love you.”

170."If I Could Give You More"

To count the hours I spend
Sitting in the dark, dreaming of you
Would take such an eternity.
How often it come to pass
That I sit and just think
Of all the things I could do
Just to show you what you mean to me.
Even if.......
              I gave you all the roses in the world;
                     and made them never to wilt away;
              I handed you a shinning rainbow,
                     to make you smile, brighten your day;
              I gave you the stars from the midnight skies,
                     so they could shimmer in your beautiful eyes;
              I handed you the entire world,
                     hoping no one would notice I took it,
Such elaborate gifts could never match
What our love has given me.
So I offer you but a quiet smile,
                     loving words,
                     my every emotion,
                     and a promise to only you
In the hopes that they will somehow show you
My love is only yours, so deep and true.......

169. Without You Here

I noticed today
       As I was walking alone
       On the sidewalk of a lonely street,
       Kicking up water in the puddles
       And being occasionally splashed by cars that drove by,
       That whenever you leave me and go away
       The rains and thunder gloom my day.......
There was not a blue patch in all the sky above.
The feeling of my clothes, soaked through with rain,
       My frame cold and empty of emotion,
       Is just how my heart feels when you’re not around.
I wonder if you really miss me
       And if you look forward to seeing me,
       Or if they’re all just empty words that you say.
Then I realize I only think like that
       Because I can’t even think straight without
       You here to hold me together,
       To take me in your arms and show me why I live.......
        To write my words and to make you happy.

February 1, 1992

168. “That Thereby Beauty’s Rose Might Never Die”

People often ask me
       Why I write;
       Why I bother to mold such words
       Into beauty and song
       When all the world can be so rank.
I searched for the answer
       In the skies and the ocean blue...
I found it not there, but in being with you.
Years after I have gone from the world,
       Visions in my sleep tell me
       My friends will say,
       “He was so inspiring in a world so dim.”
       Those who read my words will say,
       “His poetry brought tears to my eyes,
       But what I’ll remember most is how
       He wrote of Tiffany as if
       She were the most beautiful presence in all the world.”
If only I could come back for just a moment
       To tell them all,
You really are the most beautiful thing in all this world.......