February 22, 1994

277. When I Lost You...

It's the same old story--
Chasing dreams we know we'll never find.
I can't ever seem to let go
Of the images dancing
           in my mind.
You're not who you used to be
And I won’t let myself believe
That you have gone away--
The girl you once were,
Never again will I find.
You've drifted so far away from me
That no longer do you treat me kind.
You spite each word I say,
Telling me my concern for you is gone.
I tell you "I love you,"
You tell me you haven’t got the time.
I tell you "I miss you,"
You tell me to just be quiet.
Listen to the words you use,
They cut sharper than knives.
At times you say you care for me,
Then you turn and run far away.
You don't want to "deal" with me--
I just don't fit into your life.
You say that you love me,
Then the next minute,
           you're playing with my mind.
How can you do this to me
When all that has grown cold
Is the way you hold my in your arms.
You've fallen away from me--
Disappeared out of my life.
Each time I try to get next to you,
You just push me aside.
I've tried so hard just to let you see
This wondrous world I'd give to you,
Yet each time you speak to me,
You tell me I just don not understand--
How can I understand
When you just run me out of your life.
We once were one, not two,
But now all that matters is you.
I can only hope one day you realize
When I am no longer waiting by your side--
The pain that you caused my heart
Because it was second best
Behind the world you've fallen to.
I don't know you anymore--
Or why you've become this way.
I only wanted to give you the world,
But there's things more important in your life.
Perhaps one day you will understand
How harshly you treated me--
How coldly you pushed me away
And how much it saddened me
To know you didn’t want me around.
So next time you yell at me
And tell me to leave you alone,
I hope you can remember, dear,
All the times I forgave you.
All I'm trying to do is love you,
Take you away to paradise,
And all you do
Is turn your back and walk away...

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