228. Remembering What Could Have Been

I’ve seen a child being born
Into this world of uncertainty.
The sparkle in the eyes
When first mother laid glance
On her newborn son.
What wonders these images recall
Of how life can come and go,
Be short, or last a century long,
And yet, it is love
That can last beyond life,
Making us wonder how to find
A love to outlast mortal life,
Forever, into eternal bliss.
There are so many distant, meaningless words;
Yet, there are also
Such beautiful, wondrous words of miracle,
Yet neither will ever do
To describe how I felt
When you said to me
“I might be having your baby.”
My heart was caught in a whirlwind--
I knew not what to say,
Only pray that you were wrong,
For our lives were still too young,
So many dreams unfulfilled.
I listened to you cry so many times,
Day passing day, praying you were wrong,
Yet somehow, deep in my heart,
I had never felt so close to you before.
It was a two-sided bliss
Shadowed by doubt and fear,
A happy smile under falling, painful tears.
We struggled and fought
Through adversity together
Until we found we were wrong,
And there was no baby to bear.
I remember us being happy,
Yet, at the same time a little sad
That the possibility of life’s miracle
Had come and gone so soon.
All the better, I thought,
For she is only seventeen and you one year older...
I can’t say I’d have been happy
Had there been a baby there,
Yet I can’t say that I wasn’t saddened
When I prepared for the worst,
     Only to find we had not given life
     So that our lives would still look upon
     Our futures and not dreams’ end......