163. When I Can't Be With You

I’m staring at the clock,
       Watching the minutes tick away.
My heart is being torn apart,
       And how I’m trying not to cry.
Here I sit, writing again
       Because it’s all I can do.
Never in my life,
       Not even as when I saw death with my own eyes,
       Have I felt so helpless.
I can feel you here in my empty arms.
I can smell your sweet perfume.
I can see that gorgeous face.
I can hear your voice, but when I turn around,
       You’re just not here where you should be--
       Locked in my embrace, protected from the world.
I can see your eyes,
              Oh what soft, wonderful eyes.
                            How I miss them.
I feel your touch, your arms holding my sullen frame.
I tell myself, as my hands tremble and the tears
                                         fall upon the page,
That it’s nothing I did, for all I have done is love you.
And if loving you is wrong, then let the fire burn me
       And the daggers pierce my heart,
       For I’d do it again and again and again.
I hear your laughter in the back of my mind,
       And God, it makes me want to cry
       Because I want to be there with you,
       Holding you and making the pain disappear.
Yet, even though I can’t be there,
       I know there’s a little piece of me in your heart
       That’s keeping you warm, keeping you safe,
       And telling you how much I truly do love you.